Vimal Kumar having finished his official work ,sitting in his desk thinking what to do ? Going home or spend more time in the office or go about loitering in the streets doing window shopping ,He could also read the half finished book in his bag just remaining in the office, mood is not conducive to reading ,hence decided to leave the office.Every day almost routine ,copying the reporters' write up, correcting and pushing the same to the Assistant Editor of News section, doing everything mechanically but due care , it has almost become a habit to him regarding correcting , forming the sentences a bit attractive to the avid news readers of the paper.This is not a problem at all , but.......
He came out started his Scooter making a hellava noise, this needs to be changed, I must ask the company for a loan or give for a service and change if need be some parts and make it alright.On the way he remembered his daughter, five year old ,stopped near a bakery , bought a few chocolates and biscuits ,started again ........ even the scooter despite making noise does not give any trouble as far functioning is concerned , then why human body making noises and not responding to our wish.
Have we become robots by unceasingly doing the job and work only not directing our mind to any other thing? Do we Indians born only to earn and make both ends meets and die like creatures?
Why can't we live with some joy... if at all , a variation from our routine TV viewing, and emotionally charged watching serials or dancing with plastic faced judges,singing and irritatingly finding fault with the kids who come to sing and giving laborious lecturing in the name of advice; who need this kind of advice .No elementary school teacher gave advice when we started learning alphabets and sentences, they made us to practice.
Can't we be a little free from the routine of pulling the cart like the bulls?
Am I depressed? Should I meet a psychiatrist?
My God! what is happening to me?
I reached home ,stopped the scooter, carrying the little packet of what I bought in the bakery, my wife Shoba opening the door.
No calling bell needed for me, my scooter is like a retinue of a king announcing the arrival of the king.
She was just looking at me without giving way to me to enter, but I went through the gap available at the threshold of the entrance.
My wife Shoba is beautiful, a little bulky .......... 'little' I don't know, so masking her curves that too when in saari but seems a better looking lady when in churidaar.Well, I do remember how beautiful she was when married and my luck, how with all the curves ladies are proud of when looking at the mirror.She was wonderful to look with her chins,smiling eyes,bright teeth with the smile,slightly parted lips Hmmmm I was fortunate , I know. May be I have also changed physically in these six or seven years after marriage.
May be work tension,economic problems not being able to buy anything which we basically need , leave alone the wants.
I went into my room removing my pants,shirt, inner garments before entering the bath room, looked at the mirror......... slightly tired but healthy.Healthy, am I?
If so , why not function the I want to function?
Came out and sat in the sofa,doing nothing .....simply watching what was on the TV without mind on it.
Daughter came to me eating the little cake and asking some questions which I answered mechanically.My Shobi sitting silent, oh that is how I call her.
I attended some phone calls from my office from my juniors and some outside contacts .Shobi also talking over phone with her friends. How always ladies have lot of things to talk to their friends? Are men less talkative?
Or females in general better equipped to communicate than males?
May be house makers do try to get some identity if they are full time house wives not going for jobs. Their energy levels are high I think.
I could perceive some light screen separating between Shobi and me, partly ..... may be I am responsible or my tension.
There must be thousands of husbands in my position not knowing what to do.... depression or what.
Time is now 9 O' clock.Shobi and daughter already went into bed room . I went inside the kitchen to see anything there to eat.Except little rice and some curry , nothing more.I took partly and a banana went inside and slept.
Almost I slept .....morning paper my photo in black white with a caption , as journalist dead while sleeping and my name in bigger fonts.I was sweating profusely , got up suddenly in bed......... my God !!!!!!!!!! dream..........time I looked it was around 11.45 and I could not find my wife but her churidaar and inner garments were by my side.
I looked around and heard sound inside the bathroom, after a few minutes she came out with a lungi put around from her breast to the thighs.
'Oh how beautiful she is, water dripping from her hair on her shoulders,like honey dews ,wet lungi on her beautiful curves below the neck,and water soaked lungi on her body and showing the voluptuous thighs'
Something changing in me after so many months and I showed my hands spread wide towards her and she came into my fold.
Oh men don't need repair normally , only mind set.